Apostate Kate

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Posts by Apostate Kate

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  16

  I really want to do this..........but dont know if I should

  by vitty in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  im really ,seriously considering having a tummy tuck next year.

  i want to know if sometimes they dont work.

  its a lot of money if you dont get the results you want.

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  Apostate Kate

  Just make sure you are a 100% good candidate for the surgery. Complications from any surgery are a reality for many people. Don't take that aspect of it lightly.

  I have had so many complications from needed surgery I'd personaly never elect to have it. Until you decide why not consider adding a good abdominal workout to your daily routine and see how far you get, unless you have already tried that. I've had surgery that cut the nerves to the lower tummy so I'll always have a little fluff, but it doesn't bother me. I can get fairly firm with pilates and yoga when I work at it.
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  49

  panda's husband died...

  by Country Girl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  our dear friend, panda's, husband died of a heart attack a night ago.

  she is a sweetheart, and she didn't want to tell us because she was thinking that it would make people feel bad.

  she is feeling very bad, that's forsure.

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  Apostate Kate

  I'm very sorry for your loss.

  May you be surrounded and comforted by loved ones.
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  46

  Why all the hostility toward WTS?

  by hambeak in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  i'm very new to this and please understand, but at one time or another most everyone here was a loyal and faithful witness.. if you disapproove of it or don't fit in as i don't.

  why keep pounding at them it is like an obsession.. i would really like to know.

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  Apostate Kate

  Because I'm still grieving for all that I and so many others close to me have lost.

  ::hi Renee!::
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  30

  WAS THERE ANY MENTAL INSTABILITY IN YOUR CONGREGATION?

  by badboy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  any takers?

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  Apostate Kate

  I will have to rephrase the question; were there any stable people in my congo?

  NO.

  Denial, cognitive dissonence, and a whopping dose of neurosis was the norm.
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  33

  ...How Long did You Lurk?...

  by OUTLAW in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i first found this place,i did not want to post.i wanted to see what was going on,and get a feel for the place..getting into a debate with some of the "meat eaters" here,was not at the top of my list of things to do..lol!

  !..now this place is my cyber home..(thanks simon!

  )..so my question is:how long did you lurk before you decieded to take a chance and make your first post?...outlaw

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  Apostate Kate

  I was around when Simon started it but only read posts.Then a couple times I posted but was too blond to remember passwords and such. People on AOL would read JWD and pass information around. I have made alot of friends on AOL during this time and we all helped in a chat room for the newly disfellowshipped. We just tried to be there for anyone having a hard time. A safe place to chat. The dubs would attack us and there was a group of highly emotional active dubs that would drop in to spew hatred and wish us dead.

  This forum was the number ONE information center and we all appreciated that.
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  25

  Not enough words to tell you about it.

  by Sparkplug in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so at work i am a pretty chicken kind of person as far as the rules.

  i usually walk the line and follow all of the code of business conduct things put upon me.

  well last month the declared a surplus at my job.

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  Apostate Kate

  So glad you are feeling better! You've been on my heart.

  Sometimes I think it is so much harder for us too because so many of us don't have the normal family support systems that normal non JW people have. Like family that are there for you and encourage you on to greater things.

  So many of us have dealt with; "all your problems will end when you come back to the meetings"

  For what its worth, YOU GO GIRL!

  You know, we just don't know our own worth sometimes.

  I gotta share a funny story...my hubby doesn't have to work right now, he has quite a few years of steady income from a real estate sale. Not a lot just enough to live and play around. Three of us live here, and we have devided up the chores. Dave gets the floors which is not much because we live in a small place.

  Dave doesn't like to do floors or any chores for that matter (he is awesome on fixing and building) and it is too hard for me so I put an add in the paper for a housekeeper to do light houswork a few hours a week. I will provide transportation.

  So Dave thinks he would like to do some part time work locally so we can buy a newer truck and horse trailer. He finds a part time job paying only $10 dollars an hour. I told him," Honey, I'll pay you $8 an hour to do your chores, that is what I'm going to pay someone to come and do it. And you will not even have to leave the house!"

  He did the floors yesterday...hehe I told him he is worth far more than $10 an hour, which he is! But dang my floors are clean.
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  20

  Depression

  by Honesty in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how widespread is it among jehovah's witnesses and how do they cope with it?

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  Apostate Kate

  I went through much therapy and meds and I am so happy to have overcome JW induced depression. I had a double impact to overcome since my genetic medical condition causes depression, plus the complications it causes also causes depression.

  So it is wonderful to be FREE from it all. No matter how difficult of a day I am having, that black cloud is part of the past. Anybody remember the movie, "Joe Versus the Volcano" remember his; brain cloud....

  I have not met one JW that was not suffering from depression. Not one. They live in denial. They wait for paradise to be happy.
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  18

  Gen Xers--Who remembers when Smurfs were Demonic?

  by apostawriter in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when word came down that a smurf jumped up in the middle of a meeting, yelled 'i've had enough of this shit!

  ' and stormed out, i was probably 9 years old.

  at the time i had a smurf record.

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  Apostate Kate

  Man you guys got it ALL wrong!

  A smurf floated THROUGH the Kingdom Hall and I know someone who knows someone who SEEN it.

  Just like the lady that tore the page out of the Bible, oh yeah the page with Jehovahs name on it, the Scripture of validation- Psalms 83:18. I know someone who was there! yep she says; "No! God's name aint Jehovah!" (publisher shows her Psalms 83:18) Householder ripps page out of Bible and says defiantly; "well it aint there now"! ...anyone remember that one?
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  22

  Jesus said his load would be light, the Witnesses made that load very heavy

  by free2beme in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i always remember being told that the load jesus expected of his people was not something that should be a burden and basically if you think about the core to christianity, it is not.

  basically, jesus said to love one another and to treat others how you would want to be treated and to respect the life you have.

  i don't ever remember jesus saying, "have 5 meetings a week, two assemblies a year and one convention.

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  Apostate Kate

  Very well stated Free!

  As a believer now I can assure you Jesus' load is light. An authentic Christian knows that when Jesus said his yoke was light, that is becaue HE carries it. I just walk by His side. He leads and guides, not any man made religion, though I adore my church family and worship.

  I do more now as far as quality goes, that I ever did as a JW, and it is not; work, hard, does not drag me down, does not get tiresome, nothing is expected of me.

  It is an priveledge and a joy!
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  25

  Not enough words to tell you about it.

  by Sparkplug in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so at work i am a pretty chicken kind of person as far as the rules.

  i usually walk the line and follow all of the code of business conduct things put upon me.

  well last month the declared a surplus at my job.

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  Apostate Kate

  Wow Decki so many of us have gone through the same emotional issues. I'm glad that you are not holding in the feelings, I was a holder inner and it took a toll on me. I think you are doing very well to allow yourself the tears. That is good!

  I used to hate confrontation. I would avoid it all cost. I felt the same way, having to go before the elders. Them jerks took me in the back room once, having an older larger girl physically force me in the back room. Then they stood in front of the door so I could not escape. I have had claustrophobia but never knew it until something came up to bring it out. I know it is from that day it was a horrid experience. The JW experience left so many of us unable to deal with confrontation well. We were never allowed a fair fight, or any fight for that matter.

  Anyway, I have been to several different types of therapy, psychologist, psychoanylist, psychiatrist for depression meds, and the last one was a PTSD anger managment therapist not constant of course but as needed for the past 15 or so years.

  What happened to me is I went from repressed feelings, to letting it all out. Notice the anger managment is listed last. You will probably make a slow natural progression out of where you are now, to a more healthful confident assertive nature with time.

  You have so much responsibility, as did I when I was younger and as JWs I think we missed quite a bit in learning how to deal with responsibilities without stress. BUT today, companies all over are going through terrible stressful situations. Gone are the days you had a job for 30 years and retired with a full retirement fund. So the excess stress is not just you, many people are going through work instabilities.

  I wish it was not too simple and trite to say; don't worry. After going along this journey all these post JW years, you learn to let go. Relax. I don't worry about anything anymore. I memorized the serenity prayer long ago and even if you are not any kind of believer, it can work.

  God grant me the serentiy to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Francis of Assisi

  You are an incredible hard working woman, deeply intellectual and talented. Whatever happens, you are going to be alright.

  and by the way..you get older and confrontation becomes an enjoyable art form

  ~Kate